Was Eeyore an author?

The busy mind, never at rest. Informed by the Guardian (here) that Eeyore turns 140 today, I reread some of the quotes they attribute to that immortal donkey for the first time since childhood, and now, with the wisdom of experience, I realize with blazing clarity that Eeyore was an author.

My friends have long known me as the Eeyore of the publishing world. Everything is done with a sigh. ‘Yes, that’s great,’ I say dolefully, looking at the ground and tracing a pattern with my foot. ‘Mmm, fab,’ I add hopelessly.

But All is Now Revealed. Eeyore is my role-model in career, as well as enthusiasm. It’s not merely the popped balloon birthday presents. It’s not even the notion that someone, somewhere is having fun. It’s the knowledge that everyone, everywhere is having fun. Just. Not. Here.

And the dizzying social life that authors crave: ‘Somebody spoke to me only yesterday,’ says Eeyore bravely. ‘And was it last week or the week before that Rabbit bumped into me and said “Bother!” The Social Round. Always something going on.’

Authors across the world will hug themselves in recognition. Yes! Exactly. A surly teen stepped on my foot yesterday and said, ‘Jesus Christ! Get out of the way!’ AND IT WAS THE MOST EXCITING THING THAT HAD HAPPENED TO ME ALL WEEK. As well as the warmest social interaction.

Eeyore. Mon semblable, mon frere!